With Ellen's coming out and the new trend towards
"outing" and the overall hipness involved, there's been a
lot of press dedicated to gays, bisexuals and most other
sexually-oriented groups. But there is one group continuously
overlooked:
The asexual.
I'm out and proud to be asexual. My people are a definite minority
group who wish to be recognized like all the others. We want a colored
ribbon, a national holiday, coupons for fast food. We want the world
to know that we are out there.
School science books make the barest mention of our kind and even
then stick to the single-celled variety. As far as the rest of the
world is concerned, asexual organisms with more than one cell don't
exist. That makes it quite difficult to come to terms with your lack
of sexuality. I'm not one of those people who makes a big deal about
abstaining from sex. I don't have the self-righteous air that's
required and my spare time isn't spent thinking about how I don't have
sex. I just don't bother about the subject at all.
I find that being devoid of sexuality makes my life a lot easier.
By not having a significant other I am following Thoreau's philosophy
of "simplify, simplify, simplify." One less birthday to
remember, less food to buy and no one forcing me to place someone
besides myself first on my list. And a perfect reason for it all. Like
the scorpion told the fox in the old fable, "It is my
nature."
By not participating in that aspect of life, my time is freed for
other activities: Building shrines, memorizing Cure lyrics, studying
forensic psychology ... whatever I want to do. My conversations with
friends are about really important subjects like their latest arrest
or financial aid woe. No long, convoluted love tales.
Some might say that we aren't really asexual, we just want to think
we are. Remember this quote, "I think, therefore I am." Add
a couple words, "I think I'm asexual, therefore I am."
I even have a friend who shares this slice of life with me. In
fact, when she first contacted me she specifically mentioned our
common bond. My home page's FAQ mentions the state of my sexuality, a
point I thought would result in some flak. Instead, it resulted in a
new friend. It's great because it's more of a subconscious bond. We
don't talk about it all the time because there really isn't anything
to talk about.
I've never felt inferior because of my asexuality. I never needed
to try and act hetero, homo or omnisexual. Sure, I endured the insults
that any teen has to live with: "Hey spore girl, let's see some
cell division!" Kids can be cruel, but I didn't lose sight of who
I am.
Since the day I told them and announced it over the Internet, my
family has stood behind me 100 percent, although my sister is still a
little perplexed by the whole thing. I've even confessed to them that
it may be just a phase, but it is what I am at the moment. They
understand. My little brother is even questioning his lack of
sexuality.
In this time of teen mothers and raging hormones, my people should
be praised for being what we are. Me, the amoeba, the androgynous Pat
(from "Saturday Night Live"). Our lives aren't dedicated to
reproducing the latest bizarre love triangle on "Melrose
Place."
You'll never see us hanging out in the mall hitting on babes or
buying smutty magazines from the local Circle K. Without sexual
frustration, there's no cause to deface and pillage the town and its
restroom walls.
Our time is better spent increasing the numbers of our species. We
accomplish this in a clean, no nonsense way : We recruit.
Source by Zoe O'Reilly, May 30, 1997 - StarNet
Dispatches ©1997
