Yes,
you can be born this way and it's perfectly normal, according to
Elizabeth Abbott, dean of women at U of T's Trinity College and author
of the critically acclaimed book, A History of Celibacy.
"I definitely think that someone can be born with a very low
or non-existent sexual drive," says Abbott, "in the same way
that someone can be born with a very high sex drive. Most people are
born within an average range but there's not a 'normal' human range of
sexual interest or sexuality."
As one grows up, culture and personal experience can have a very
important influence on sex drive and asexuality, Abbott says. "In
adulthood, sexually abused children often do everything they can to
avoid sexual experiences that they associate with terror, humiliation,
shame and so on. For example, young girls who are sexually assaulted
before they are old enough to have feelings of desire often put on
weight to make themselves physically unattractive."
Calling someone asexual does not necessarily mean that person is
devoid of all sexual desire or the ability to be stimulated, Abbott
notes. It could also be used for those people with a very low need or
drive.
Interestingly enough, being asexual and celibate are by no means
synonymous, she says. "You could have people with very high sex
drives who have taken vows of abstinence for religious reasons and
have chosen with great difficulty to be celibate. They're often seen
as objects of temptation and considered a challenge because some
people think it would be fun to seduce those who aren't supposed to
have sex. Someone who doesn't want to have sex is unfairly seen as
weird. Obviously, I don't agree with this negative stereotype."
Socially, it's more acceptable and biologically easier for asexual
women to fake an interest in sex "because we're used to hearing
and joking about women who aren't interested in sex," says
Abbott. "A woman can just lie there and wait for the whole thing
to be over without anyone suspecting that she may be asexual. For men,
it's difficult to hide their lack of an erection."
Through research for her book on celibacy, Abbott became convinced
of higher numbers of asexual people than previously thought. Many
abstainers stay "in the closet" because of the negative
connotations surrounding a low or absent sex drive, she says. These
include being labelled frigid, unresponsive or a cold fish. But more
research needs to be conducted into asexuality so people can better
understand it. "Right now, we're hampered by the fact that there
aren't a lot of studies on asexuality and most people don't want to
discuss it."
Abbott is an historian with a doctorate in 19th-century history.
She has worked for more than a decade as a journalist and writer with
a special interest in social history and the environment. She was
editor-in-chief of Chronicle Canada, the best-selling
illustrated history of Canada, and author of Haiti: the Duvaliers
and their Legacy, A History of Celibacy and the recently
released A History of Mistresses. She has won a National
Magazine Award for environmental writing.
Source by U of T Department of Public Affairs, September 12,
2003 - Ask
Us @ U of T ©2003
